There are many essential things we look for in partners, like safety, trust, and love. However, another key element of a successful relationship is support. A man is considering ending things with his fiancée after he opened up to her during a vulnerable moment, and she told her friends that this moment gave her the ‘ick.’ The man, known as LifWests on Reddit, took to the popular subreddit r/AITAH to ask for advice.
The 26-year-old man had proposed to his girlfriend of seven years and couldn’t wait to take their relationship to the next level. However, he feels differently now.
His Story
Taking to Reddit the man revealed that he was going through a “stressful time” last year when the incident occurred. He mentioned that he was “feeling overwhelmed” with “life in general,” and while speaking to his fiancée, he began to cry.
But months later, his sister told him that his fiancée and her best friend, Ellie (name changed to protect identity), had been talking about the incident and that his fiancée had called it an “ick.”
He revealed, “What happened was that Ellie and my fiancée were talking about green flags and what they love about their fiancés and what they could potentially be better at, and my fiancée had joked about me crying last year and that she found that an ick.”
He continued, “Ellie found that very funny and then shared it with my sister. My sister told me she didn’t think it was funny at all but just carried on with the conversation and pretended everything was normal, but she wanted to share this with me.”
Just A “Joke”
As soon as his sister told him what had happened, he decided to confront his fiancée. According to him, she “seemed a bit nervous” and insisted that it was just a “joke.” But the man went on to explain that he does not feel comfortable knowing that she had been “joking” about it to other people.
He said, “I told her I needed some space, and my fiancée started crying and told me she was just joking about it and that she loved that I was comfortable expressing my emotions to her. The thing is, I don’t really believe my fiancée, and I feel really sad and hurt that she found my crying an ‘ick’ and that she joked about it with her friend.”
The Comments
The post quickly blew up, receiving thousands of upvotes and comments. Advanced_Passage_492 commented, “Guess how many times in 23 years I have joked (read mocked) my partner’s honest emotions to anyone?? Never. How disloyal and disrespectful. Never mind getting the ick – what I feel when my partner opens up to me is love and warmth and intimacy.”
Reithejelly wrote, “Ask yourself: do you feel that her reaction was a socially-constructed response that she’ll be able to overcome with introspection, or is this an embedded personality trait? If you have kids and your boy cries, will his mother think less of him? If it’s something you believe she can overcome, then I suggest couples counseling. If you believe she’ll treat future children (or future you!) this way, then please cancel your engagement.”
References:
The Mirror: https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/i-opened-up-fiance-found-33364001
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1egg3x7/aitah_for_considering_breaking_up_with_my_fiancee/
Resources:
https://www.reddit.com/user/LifWests/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/
https://www.reddit.com/user/Advanced_Passage_492/
https://www.reddit.com/user/reithejelly/
