New relationships can be tough sometimes, especially if you haven’t set clear boundaries with your new partner. Reddit user AudDMurphy said he and his girlfriend had only been dating for three months when he decided to leave her behind and go on a solo trip for his 40th birthday.
He took to the popular subreddit r/AmItheA**hole to share his story and received overwhelming support for his post.
The Reddit Post
He wrote, ” Hi all, I (39M) am dating someone (33F) and have been for the last 3 months. Things are going well until the topic of my 40th birthday came up.”
The man went on to explain that he was turning 40 the following year and had never taken a proper vacation before, “I’ve extended work trips to do something fun where I am. I’ve traveled to visit friends or family. Always just for a long weekend (never more than 3 days total). I want to take a week and travel purely for recreational purposes. My criteria is that the trip needs to be at least a week and be international.”
Since his 20s, he’d worked hard to get his finances in order. He said, “And now I have a decent business and some money set aside and I feel like I’m ready for a trip and next year would be a great opportunity as it is a milestone birthday.”
He said his girlfriend is great, and that she works hard to support herself. Unfortunately, she doesn’t make a lot of money and has around $20k in credit card debt because of an unexpected period of unemployment.
“When the topic of this trio came up she first asked if she could go. I said sure. She then asked if we could go to Vegas. I told her about my desire for this to be an international trip. Then she expressed concern over if she could afford it while it debt. I told her I’d be willing to cover our lodging and, depending on where we go, help her pay for airfare. Because we haven’t been dating long I don’t feel comfortable paying her whole way and feel she should contribute financially to come along,” he wrote.
But according to him, she didn’t think she could afford to cover heals and the other half of her airfare, even if they went somewhere cheap. “I was thinking possibly [the] Caribbean where trip flights are running typically under $500.”
“So I said that I understood but I also have been wanting to do this milestone birthday thing for a while now and I still intend to go even if just by myself and would only be gone a week.”
His girlfriend became upset that he wanted to travel without her and the pair got into a fight. “My friends and family are split. On the one hand some point out how many things I wanted to do but didn’t get to do because my ex refused to “let” me and so I should go forth with or without her. On the other, some are saying it is cruel of me to be planning a vacation in front of a person who is trying to pay off large amounts of debt anyway.”
Supportive Comments
The post quickly blew up, receiving more than 3,000 upvotes and almost 2,000 comments, most if which were supportive.
Reddit user 1568314 wrote, “3 months and she expects you to either pay for her to go on an international, week-long vacation or change your long-term, bucket-list plans to suit her? You’ve got too much of your own life to let yourself be held back by someone you’re barely invested in. She can either get over her fomo (fear of missing out) or you can find a new partner who is supportive.”
Odd_Welcome7940 commented, “This is purely an opinion, but I think it’s ten times more understandable for things you had planned before you began dating and are still in your first year. I feel like that first year if she wants to join you for a pre-planned trip it should be 100% her responsibility to cover half. You are already being pretty generous. As said above it’s also not like you planned while she was in your life so it’s not that you planned to not include her.”
Reference:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1dfqiyg/aita_for_going_on_vacation_without_my_girlfriend/
Resources:
https://www.reddit.com/user/AudDMurphy/
https://www.reddit.com/user/Odd_Welcome7940/
https://www.reddit.com/user/1568314
